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Below are the 17 most recent journal entries recorded in A Parent's LiveJournal:

Sunday, July 2nd, 2006
10:38 am
help me with this please
I'm new to this community and I'm hoping that I can get some help with a situation I have.
My children are in another state with their father for part of the summer. They haven't spent time with him prior to this for years, by their choice. They have maintained contact with him though.
My kids and I are pretty open with each other. My son is 16 and has been clean and sober for just over a year and a half. My daughter is 14. I have their email passwords and they know this. Right now, I'm not sure if I'm glad or not about it. I just read some emails from my son to his friend. In the first one, he is telling her how stupid smoking is and I am so proud of him for telling her she should stop. In the next email he is talking about getting drunk with his father. Apparently my ex has been drinking regularly with my 16 year old to the point of them both getting stumbling drunk. This is one of the disturbing things I discovered within 3 emails over the past week to his friend.
I have called and left messages on all of the phones but haven't heard back yet.
I am seriously considering telling my ex that he needs to bring my kids back by next weekend or that I'm going to call the police on him. I kept the emails from my son to his friend, just in case.
What would you recommend that won't permenantly alienate my son from me? I cannot allow this to continue.

Thank you for your help
Tuesday, March 28th, 2006
9:34 pm
And NOW what do we do????
So, We've had the child in school less than two weeks. And already... ALREADY she's into illegal acivities. we made our rules very clear. NO drugs. NO alcohol. NO smoking. So somehow, that makes it okay to SELL cigarettes???? What the HELL is the matter with this child? I mean really now.
And what are we supposed to do? I mean, all taking away the phone and computer is going to do is make her angrier and more hurt, making it even harder for us to reach her.
Then she cried because says she learned it from our mother and "that's what you do when you need something. Find what you can and sell it." But there's nothing she really NEEDS. She's been saving up to go back to CA.
I want to strangle her.

I just don't understand. I guess it's becuase when I was that age, I was super analytical. I measured the risk and decided not to do it if it meant... well, honestly, if it meant that attention would be brought to me. I always tried to avoid being noticed.
She... works really hard to have everyone see her.

I guess we're just really different.

But. What do we do with her?

Sigh... Dumb teenagers.
Tuesday, March 21st, 2006
9:36 am
I'm so sick of trying. I know that the kid's just grumpy, but when we go to actually TAKE her to the school, she becomes a little brat. She has to play tough and put on this show about what a royal pain she intends to be and I just want to smack her. I don't think she understands that this is her chance to turn her life around.
And I don't feel like I'm doing enough for Melody. I feel like she thinks I'm not trying.
I've come to the conclusion that they aren't going to let her go to school for at least another week. So is that going to come back on me? I mean, I thought... Take her to the school, fill out some paperwork, and she would start classes, if not that day, the next. But everything is working against me in that endevor.
And I can't help but feel that Melody thinks it's my fault and I'm not trying hard enough. I just feel like I'm hitting my head on a brick wall. Why doesn't anyone want her?
All I want for this kid is the best. But no one seams to want that for her. I just don't understand.

I don't know what to do.
Thursday, March 9th, 2006
1:02 am
Sudenly a parent (of a -ewe- teenager)
So... Hi. I am a 24 year-old lesbian, who just became the parent of a 13 year old.
My Girlfriend, Melody(22) luckily loves the idea and was more than happy to jump at the concept when my mother called and asked if she could ship me my sister.
Did I mention -13-?
So here we sit, two days later... I have no job and Mell makes $600 a month, I just cashed in all $450 of my trust fund to buy the child's plane ticket.
I've never felt so lost in my life...
But we found a school for her today... if they'll let her in... And if they won't... I don't know...
At this point, I'm perfectly willing to admit that I have no clue what I am doing or how to do it.
To the young coupule who wrote the previous entry, May we Both have all things fall into place for us as we do better for our families than our parents.
Good luck. (And thank GOD for wonderful spouses.)
Thursday, January 12th, 2006
1:53 pm
Please help us!!!
on 01/10/2006 at 7:39 PM a wonderful thing happened... ... ... Michael Rinesmith was born... my godson.

he was 20 inchis and 6lbs 15oz
and he has breathing problems... he has his mom's ears, and his fathers nose and he mom's lips.

he was moved from the neo-natal care unit at foote hospitable to the university of Michigan neo- care unit this morning at about 3:30 AM his parents (and I) are worried out of our minds... if i sould ask everyone to pray for him then ask 2 friends to pary for him, and have each of them to pray for him hopefuly our thoughts reach him and give him strength to get better... neither the parents or i have been able to hold him yet... ... ...\


P.S. I do not beleave in god and i'm not asking you to either... I know that when alot of ppl think about a baby lyin there on the brink of death, that things happen... and if we all send our strength to him... maybe he'll get better

Current Mood: worried
Sunday, March 27th, 2005
11:31 pm
Hi I'm new, my names Kate and I might me a little unusual being only 18. Luckily I'm not a mother of a teenager though! I'm here because I have incresing resposibility of my 13yo brother as our mother is termially ill. And quite frankly I barely know where to start with being anything like a mother figure to him.

At the momment our mothers well enough to be his mum, but she's increasingly losing mobility and the doctor'd don't give her long, so within the next few months to an extent I'll be becoming far more of that kind of figure to him.

It's hard trying to start that kind of thing now, organising him in the morning and trying to make him do his homework. Telling him off when I REALLY don't think he respevts me enough for me to be able to do that.

I suppose what I'm trying to say is how do I gain that sort of respect and what can I do to make our mum's passing any easyier for him? Any ideas? Thanks
Tuesday, January 11th, 2005
3:26 am
I'm new
Hello I just joined and I'm 14 and when I turn 15 I plan on trying to get emancipated my family life isn't that bad so but enough to make me want to die so I live in PA and I was wondering if verbal abuse is enough to get emancipated I have other reasons like drugs and my father drinks a lot and has flipped and broke stuff a few times while drunk but I don't want to get my parents in trouble.I also have an older brother so if I get emancipated he won't have any part in it though right?
When I went to therapy my therapist said I should try to get out as soon as I can.

I love my family but sometimes it just gets to much to handle I am very mature for my age I take care of myself mostly now as it is.

If anyone can help me out on this that would be great thank you.

Current Mood: confused
Monday, May 3rd, 2004
2:33 pm

Hi there!

I’m a student in Psychology and Education at Penn State, trying to get some early information for a study-to-be.  Right now, I’m just collecting data to get a feel for the kinds of answers I’ll get by using certain questions (so i can set up a good questionairre for the actual study) and anything you’d send to me would be totally confidential.  I’ve set up a survey with some questions about reading motivation in your kids and your reading behaviors at home.  If you have the time, I’d be thrilled to hear from you!  Thank you so much!

PS:  also, i'm sorry if this isn't allowed in this community, i wasn't certain - feel free to delete me if it's not allowed here.


a quick questionairreCollapse )

Current Mood: hopeful
Sunday, April 11th, 2004
4:10 am
hey u guys r all parents?? maybe u can help me then?? i feel so stupid...

im 15. i need help. wat can i say? and i dont think ne one else can help me on this except..well...parents!! which means YOU GUYS SO PLEASE HELP ME!!!

i cut. ya ya its horrible rite? but c, i want help. or at least..i think so. i donno. i think i wanna go to a shrink, but i donno how to ask my mom. she's gonna freak out and wanna know WHY. but i dont want to tell her. she thinks im so happy and i luv my life, but really im miserable and i want to die. i've got a bottle of sleeping pills and im just waiting to get the courage to take the whole damn thing. i wanna cut my wrists and fall asleep and never wake up. but c, wen i REALLY think about it, i know i should stay. but i need to talk to someone about everything, and just online isnt enough. its just not.

so wat should i do??? i need help...plz!!! im desperate, i donno wat to do! i want to die but at the same time i dont, and i no if i dont do sumthing quick i mite as well just swallow a few pills and get it over with. im worthless newaz.

Tuesday, March 30th, 2004
5:23 pm
the endless pain of the loss of a daughter
it has been years since that night, but there is still a void in my heart... I can not fill it no matter what i do. (and I've tryed) it's been this way for just under 6 years ever since my daughter Elhaym pased away. I know that no other chile could ever replace my elly, but even if it would, I think I'd be too afraid I'd screw it up again I dont think I could do it again... I dont want anyone else to die because of me. everyone tells me i can not blame myself but i can not help the feeling that i failed both my wife (now ex) and daughter. if i had only acted sooner she would still be here and almost 6. she would be in school and I would be helping her with her homework. :(
I failed elly, my ex-, and myself. elly died because of me...

and i deserve to die for that.

music EXP can be found at http://www.escaflowneonline.com/xenogears/information/songs.html

Current Mood: depressed
Monday, January 5th, 2004
4:49 pm
Raising Teen Girls
Hi, I am new to this community, but feel I need to be in here right now.
I have a 14 year old, who I believe is having sex. She has had a boyfriend for about 9 months now, and now just about everything she tells me I question weather she is telling me the truth. The boyfriend is a good kid, but I think they are young... way to young to be messing around. But I also know that in this day and age, most teenagers are having sex, and this is a reality I have to deal with. I have had the Sex, protection, talk to me speach already, and she took it good. I felt afterwards that she might be open about when it happens, and to make sure that we got her to a Doc to get birth control. I'd rather her do that, then be out there messing around and end up pregnant.
Anyhow.... this last weekend, while putting away clothes in her room, she was not home at the time, and I found her journal sitting on the bed. I looked, and for that I'm feeling bad enough. But there in writting was her saying that they had sex. I was shocked! When she got home later, without telling her I read her journal began asking her questions, and point blank asked her if she was having sex. She denied it, looking me straight in the eye. So I don't know what to believe, either she is and is lying straight to my face, or she is just writing fantasies in her journal.
Any help... suggestions out there?
I'm planning on making a doc. appt. for her at any rate and make sure she gets started on Birth control. I don't know what else to do.

Current Mood: confused
Friday, July 18th, 2003
9:00 am
I just wanted to say hello here and thank Ossie for starting this community! My children are 3-1/2 and one-year. I know it is hard now, dealing with all their physical needs, but it never gets "easy" either... later comes the emotional needs. I wonder how good a parent I will be to teenagers... at least i have a few years to prepare... read some books ahead of time, glean advice from others here... lol.

I am going to a mom's club group this morning actually, so I have to get off of here soon. They schedule playdates and send out a monthly calender so you can see what you can attend... The children are all preschoolers. It's nice to get the kids out of the house for this, interacting with other kids. I work from home on a morning deadline and share one car with my husband, so it is easy for me to procrastinate getting the car but the kids have so much fun at this! I need to get more determined about doing this more often.
Thursday, July 17th, 2003
6:48 pm
for friends and family of a drug user
this was posted at http://www.naranon.com

I guess its something to understand a drug users mind.

"Dear Mom and Dad,

I am a drug abuser. I need help.

Don't solve my problems for me. This only makes me lose respect for you - and for myself.

Don't lecture, moralize, scold, blame, or argue whether I'm stoned or sober. It may make you feel better, but it only makes the situation worse.

Don't accept my promises. The nature of my illness prevents my keeping them, even though I mean them at the time. Promises are only my way of postponing pain.

And don't keep switching agreements; if an agreement is made, stick to it.

Don't lose your temper with me. It will destroy you and any possibility of helping me.

Don't let your anxiety for me make you do what I should do for myself.

Don't believe everything I tell you. Often I don't even know the truth - let alone tell it.

Don't cover up or try to spare me the consequences of my using. It may reduce the crisis, but it will make my illness worse.

Above all, don't run away from reality as I do. Drug dependence, my illness, gets worse as my using continues.

Start now to learn, to understand, to plan for your own recovery. Find Families Anonymous, Nar-Anon, Al-Anon or CoDA; those groups exist to help families in just your situation.

I need help - from a doctor, a psychologist, a counselor, from some people in a self-help program who are in recovery from a drug problem themselves - and from a Power greater than myself.
Your "User"

hopefully all drug users find help in a fast way,

as parents we can only try to guide our kids to do the right things, they have to choose for themselves and make the right descisons.

as someone who has never did any drugs in my life.
I guess its tough to read all that and accept the problems.
Wednesday, July 16th, 2003
12:15 pm
Quick update before I head back out...

Had thee scarriest judge ever!! He had me in tears within 30 seconds of sitting down! He kept blaming it on my son "See what you're doing to your poor mother!?! I don't ever want you to put her through this again!!"
Dude, seriously YOU'RE the reason I'm crying. My son pisses me off, but damn you're scarrey!!

Anyway, the sentence? 45 hours of community service, a $35 fine and no driving privileges for 6 months.
That's it.
NO drug and alcohol classes. What's up with that?
I really think he went way easy on Brandon. I think his tactic was to scare the shit out of Brandon and hope that ,that alone would keep him from ever having to come back to court again. I know it worked for me! Next time Brian's going!

After court we headed straight over to the college to sign up for classes. Brandon is taking the assessment test right now.I have to pick him up in 20 minutes.

I'm so wiped out emotionally right now.I'm not sure if I'm relieved or not. I mean at least we're done with the court thing but I'm not sure Brandons punishment was quite enough. Only time will tell I guess.
Brandon seems to think it was. He's already telling me everything I want to hear.Blah blah, no more drinking, bla blah blah, going to college, blah blah, need better friends.

I 'll believe it when I see it.

Current Mood: exhausted
5:21 am
Off to court
Thank you ossie for starting this community!
Let me be the first to post since I am on my way to court this morning due to the fact that my 17 yr old son was ticketed for underage drinking.
He's not even upset about it, and it certainly hasn't changed his behaviour yet. He has had 2 more close calls already this month.
I'll post when I get back from court to let you know the outcome.

Current Mood: embarrassed
2:31 am
1:50 am
First Post
This community is hopefully here to help any parent raising their children,

my goal is to have people put issues out there as a subject and have people post their feelings about it,

hopefully someone reading something will get a little help with the struggles of raising kids nowadays,

some issues may be personal experiences, some may be future fears, just hopefully people helping people will help enlighten each of us.
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